Storms of the Heart

Our life feels a lot like the tornado in this picture right now. Much of our life is up in the air, so to speak, and the stress of it all is a powerful force to be reckoned with. We are weary and weather-beaten.

We are currently faced with a new decision: Which is a more pressing need? A different house or a more reliable car for Lige? While the price of each is significantly different, we know we cannot afford to do both right now.

We do not like making official grown-up decisions. They are painful, they are unpleasant, and the right thing is not the thing we want.

A friend shared with me today that a change in circumstances doesn't make you content. But a change in heart does. This week I've been trying to lay aside my dreams, my wants, and my plans. I would love a house with more space, another bathroom, and either a bigger kitchen or a dining room. But are these things that we absolutely have to have right now? The answer is no, and yet a piece of me rebels violently to this truth. So much of me screams, "But we deserve it; I want it; other's have it." It's been a raging storm within my heart. But ultimately I want what God wants for us. And it may be a car and not a house.

We have not been asked to give up our dream house, but we have been asked to give up a dream. It's painful, but it's good. I shed tears, but there's peace that passes understanding.

"I surrender all, I surrender all. All to Thee my precious Savior, I surrender all." And to our God, even the sacrifice of a dream is a worthy offering.